Have you ever woken up in the morning and wished you didn't have to go to work? Are you afraid your boss might get suspicious if you claim to have contacted psittacosis for the third week in a row? Do you get fed-up blaming your absence from work on trains, traffic or extra-terrestrials? If so, then Bunking Off is the book for you. Packed with over 100 excuses for taking the day off work, that are considerably more creative than flu or leaves on the line, this humorous gift book could help you achieve that all important lie-in.

What was the lion doing on the pitch?
Playing for his pride.

Why do football managers encourage friendly ghosts?
Because they like a good team spirit.

Interviewer: How did you find the pitch?
Player: I just walked out of the tunnel and there it was.

From kick-off to final whistle, here are 4-4-2 football jokes to keep every football fan amused. So, even if your team is bottom of the league and someone has eaten all the pies, you won't be able to resist a giggle. Or should that be Giggs-le?